Microsoft has gradually announced over the past weeks that it's launching, itself, into obscurity. The launch is potentially scheduled to kick into full gear by early summer, giving off-brand retailers a jump start on the 2008 back-to-school season.
The first part of the announcement was its desperation to grab onto Yahoo like an expensively-dressed gold digger working a cocktail party, around midnight, hoping she can at least end up with number two. Buy yourself some respect with those billions, girl!
Then, it goes ambulance chasing after Chinese New Year for firecracker injuries from a group of people who work for 40 hours a cent practically, announced in the form of a $900 million lawsuit on pirated Taiwanese software. Who's hurt there in the end? The piraters, who can probably afford the litigation mitigation, or the millions trying to better their resume so that one day they may actually be able to buy overpriced software themselves (and hopefully do a lot more than that)? Who cares, right Bill, 's long as you get back about a third of that billion after legal costs? Which you can then funnel into a humanitarian cause to bring Microsoftware to the underpriveleged Asian population.
Ooh! And now, apparently unaware of the significance of silly little things like names and validating its portrayal in the Apple commercials, it invites Danger into its BillFold! Gobbling up the beta version, so to speak, of Google's Android, is reminiscent of their old tactic to "Mickey and then Mouse." You know: like, jimmy the GUI of another operating system or something; and then cheese out endless copies of the format yourself. Doot! Good thing they aren't in China! (I can change that line to "Jimmy and then Cheese" if that offends you, Disney... Just let me know, okay?)
But seriously, are they trying to tell us something here? Grabbing at the web they can't spin; scraping for returnables and coins in the gutters of Asia; and then purchasing an aging "Zune with wings" that's barely worth its weight in food, even with today's grocery prices?
Is Windows Mobile on that Sidekick so damn good that I'm not going to even notice the difference from the original...? The thing's bulky enough that I guess bringing along a laptop is out of the question, so it better be good!
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